Hope when days are tough

Some days can be hard...Monday was one of those days.

As I made my way to work, I was reminded that it was the first anniversary of the

death of one of my dear colleagues and friend, someone I had known for over 20 years, taken from this life so unexpectedly, so young, the same age as me. A friend who had the rest of her life ahead of her, who was looking forward to visiting family in America, planning her upcoming wedding and like me, beginning to think of the all the things she wanted to do as we move into the time of our lives when retirement comes that much closer.

As I drove into work, I shed a tear, just as I had twelve months ago when the sad news came through, I had been working in Wales and just stepped outside and walked to the beach to try and make sense of it all. It had hit me hard, feelings of grief, anger, bewilderment, emptiness. I looked around at the beautiful beach,

hills , mountains and sea in front of me, birds in flight, wind in my face...and

questioned God out loud, almost feeling guilty being there in that moment - why was I able to enjoy these scenes in front of my eyes and my friend had been taken.

I am sure many of us have had situations in our lives like this where we question, and there really is no explanation, perhaps a reminder of the fragility of this life, a life which should be lived in the moment, and not as I quite often do, lived with worry, anxiety...a time to "be" and recognise that our times are in God's hands.

On days like this, it is so easy to give up hope, our faith is tested, we are challenged and feel like giving up... maybe anniversaries of those lost remind us that we still mourn. (Matthew 5:4 NIV) "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted". I am reminded yet again that God never abandons us when we grieve, but is there with us and always provides us with love and hope. Jesus also says come to him with all our issues, fears, anxieties when we can't cope, and he will be with us in our struggles as well as our joys.

So as I reflect back on Monday, I don't want to feel down any longer but have hope for the future and whatever that may bring, placing my trust in God. In this very moment, I give thanks that I knew my dear friend, someone who made a huge difference to those she worked with, hard working, strong minded, and yet always just a phone call away for a chat, advice or a laugh.

I give thanks, holding on to the small things from Monday that reminded me of God's goodness and gifts to us all;

For being able to have my early morning coffee in the garden and for the birds that joined me for breakfast and gave me a beautiful song - I give thanks

For the morning sun as I drove into work, and for the light traffic on the way into the office, so not to stress me - I give thanks.

For catching up with friends and colleagues I hadn't seen for a number of years and for the prayers and sincere thoughts from friends on a difficult day - I give thanks.

For time to rest and reflect - I give thanks.

I know that the Lord will continue to renew my strength, I can be assured of his promises and as I continue in my journeying in faith - it is in the knowledge that Jesus shows me my path, a path not always easy but brings fullness of joy.

© Stephen Allen May 2023